The Law of Nature

"One is all, all is one"

Towards her old age, my mother gained a lot of weight. Being an advocate of healthy eating and living a healthy lifestyle, I tried to persuade her that she should watch what she ate. She was after all ill. She was diabetic and it was believed that she was suffering with gout. However, I later found out that the swelling she always ended up getting on her ankles was not from gout but was caused by her heart. It was not pumping enough oxygenated blood throughout her body. It was all linked as she had Pulmonary Fibrosis. He heart was working overtime. I had mentioned this in a post devoted to her.

She always ended up joking about death. When we talked about her weight, she would reply back with "at least the ants will be happy. They'll get food". I didn't really think about it in depth. Only until she passed away when I stood in front of her grave to bury her that I fully understood this so called natural law.

As humans, we are only a minute and insignificant part of an immense and flowing cosmos which itself is made up entirely of minute and insignificant parts. I will label these minute and insignificant parts as 'ones'. If you add all these ones, it will eventually become 'all'. Without all these ones, the all cannot exist. We are all destined to die. It's in the uncodified law of nature. If I were to pass away in this world, it would continue to move along as if nothing had happened because I am just a small part of it. Not even a fraction. What makes us who we are, the soul, the spiritual essence of a person vanishes. All that remains is the physical, the body. Water, Carbon, Ammonia, Lime, Phosphorous, Salt, Saltpeter, Sulfur, Magnesium, Fluorine, Iron, and Aluminum. The human body is only a combination of those simple elements as well as trace amounts of a few others.We’re destined to be decomposed by bacteria and become nutrients for plants. If you then follow the process further, those plants will nourish herbivores. The herbivores end up nourishing carnivores. Even though we lose awareness our lives, all of us will keep on moving through the system that nature has developed. This so called cycle of life.

No matter how much we try, we are unable to escape a fate that will undoubtedly come to all of us. Advances in science and technology can only help to a certain extent.

Ah London, Suited and Booted

When mum was around, I was still having trouble looking for work. A recent LPC (Legal Practice) graduate unable to find work at law firms either as a trainee lawyer or a paralegal.

I got so sick of not being able to find work that I decided to start up my own business. Something to cater a specific problem. I thought up of different ideas and placed them under a process of heavy scrutiny asking myself questions such as "Will this really work?" "Who will use it?" "Would I use this service?" and so forth. In the end, some of my ideas went out through the window but I found one idea which I believe would be good, for a first business venture anyway.

After everything I've been through within the last 2/3 months, I somehow arranged to meet up with a billionaire venture capitalist in London. For the sake of what could be the greater good, I shaved my beard, had a haircut, booked my ticket, put on my suit and headed for an early meeting with my potential investor. It was a weird for me to be putting on a Hugo Boss suit that had cost me around £500/600. Earlier in the week, I was literally a bum, sitting on a bench with nobody to talk to. No one would even talk to me. To go back into this life was a bit too uncomfortable. I must admit, I was nervous. This was it. One of those 'make it or break it' points in my life.

For those who know me, I'm a bit of a fitness fanatic. The plan was to make it into London and walk 2.2 miles to the meeting point. To my surprise, not many people do actually walk around London. The only ones that do are tourists. Everyone is busy. Time is money. Unfortunately as always, my plans never work out. I had to catch a taxi to get there since I lost my Oyster Card (transport card allowing me to use the London Underground and bus services). It had about £15 of credit on there. I arrived in time and headed into the building. Since I was early as I had 13 mins to spare, I ate my sandwich. Once done, I went in.

In the beginning, it went well. I felt at slight ease but then we got down to business. "So Shiraz, what's your idea?". As I told him, he asked me further questions. As the meeting went on, I could see where this was going. He told me that it wasn't for him as an investor. It was not going to generate a substantial amount of money within the first year of trading. He wanted something like £250,000. I knew myself that this idea would not generate that much but over time with a clever marketting strategy, it could be possible. He then emphasised on 'could'. I also justified my reasons with what I had uncovered via my market research. Despite that, he still believed it wouldn't generate much. It was just not for him. I thanked him for his time and to give me the opportunity to discuss my idea with him. He asked me about my background. I told him and he gave me his card so that I could contact him again in future.

I was extremely down at that point. Nothing is going the way I envisioned it with my mum. Why am I struggling so much in the last few years. I'm aware that there are those who are less fortunate than myself in poorer countires but is there a reason for this? Am I destined to struggle this way in life now or will something good happen to me. I'm a pessimist and my closest friends would agree on me with that and I've always had a negative mindset over a positive one. This was just due to my circumstances and how I grew up.

I walked from St Pancras Hotel, London to Oxford Street. The odds were extremely slim but I ended up bumping into a friend from Cardiff in London. She was walking down Oxford St with her mother. We talked for a bit and she forced me to select a few things from M&S (food outlet). I then headed down towards Hyde Park as I usually do when I'm in London now and from there walk down to Victoria Coach Station to head back to Cardiff. To be honest, I did not even want to come back. I was just that upset.

Whilst waiting for the coach, I started talking with a pretty girl whose name I later found out to be Kayleigh. She lived in London and worked for Christian Dior in Selfridges. She told me her story. Two years ago, she was struggling to meet ends. She worked for £60/70 a week and had to pay rent as well as buy food because her mother kicked her out at the age of 17. She worked in Debenhams, Swansea for some time. Somehow, she was selected with one other girl by Christian Dior to go to Paris for two weeks and be given specific training with all expenses paid. She was given intense training regarding the products Dior sells. She now trains women who work on the fragrance counters. She told me that she still isn't paid much but she is coping well. When I asked her about accomodation, Kayleigh informed me that she lived with 6 other girls and they all slept in one room of an apartment. She gave me tips on how to secure places and where is the best place to live from her experience. Now she lives with her boyfriend who is also an employee of Selfridges. She was a great person with a great attitude to meet and she told me that if I didn't get it, it was probably because it was not meant to be. I should take a more positive attitude and use this experience as a learning curb. I thought to myself, why couldn't I meet a girl who is supportive like you.

When we got to Cardiff, it was raining. So I walked her to Cardiff Central Station. I didn't even have a jacket and got completely soaked. We shook hands and she told me to pop into Selfridges any time. Despite it raining heavily that night, I was crying as I did not know what to do. I kept talking to myself saying "What am I going to do now mum. The one idea I thought I had that would make me some decent money turned out to be nothing in the eyes of the investor". I have no one to support me. No one to stop me from falling. Just when I try and pick myself up, I get thrown back onto the floor.